2. If you could invite 5 or 6 people to dinner who are famous for something, who would they be and why would you invite them? (They can be dead or living).
I would like to invite Flannery O’Connor (a hilarious Southern writer), Kate Bush (a wild British singer from the 80’s), Angelina Jolie (So cool!), my high school best friend Krystalline, and Jesus (I would have a lot of questions for him after dinner!)

3. If you were running for president or Governor of CA, what would your platform be?
No special interests (ha ha), and anti-corruption. Political corruption makes me so angry and frustrated with the process!

4. What hunks make your top ten list?
Hmm, in no particular order: Troy Garity, Vin Diesel, Luke Halpin (the older brother on “Flipper”), Anderson Cooper (from CNN), and a good friend of mine who I won’t embarrass here. Actually just those five are more than enough to last me a lifetime!

5. Before I discovered your site, to me at least, you were a faceless victim of this tragedy without a real voice. How has your site made an impact on people knowing your story and possibly taking political action on it?
After the tragedy of my Army boyfriend’s murder in 1999 by bigoted anti-gay soldiers, a second nightmare began when the media chased me and wrote insensitive articles calling me a man or a crossdresser. I decided the best way to get my own story out there was to start a website and show that I am a normal, happy, creative woman. I feel like if people can understand those simple things, they will understand why Barry loved me, and see even more what a cruel waste his murder was.

6. How did you get the name Calpernia? Are you a fan of Shakespeare?
I first heard the name Calpernia in the book and movie “To Kill a Mockingbird.” She was the maid, and I thought, “What a cool name!” Later I heard it in Shakespeare and decided it would be a perfect stage name for me – a combination of gothic history and popular culture. When I finally transitioned and stopped doing “drag,” I kept it because it just became a part of me. Friends usually call me “Callie.” 

7. What do you think the military should do? Do you think they’ll do anything? Where are the evil dudes that did this crime to Barry at now?
I think the military is losing some of its best soldiers when it discharges GLBT people. All of the GLBT soldiers I knew when I was in the Navy and Marines were highly decorated, dedicated good workers. I myself had top evaluations and advanced through the ranks rapidly. I think the military is going to have to drop its thinly veiled fear, shame, and bigotry and just admit that GLBT people have been in the military since ancient times, and we are there now, and they should just go ahead and use some of their best soldiers. Barry’s murders are living a deservedly hard life in prison at Ft. Leavenworth right now.

9. Do you feel he’s with you as a guardian angel or spirit? How has your belief system been impacted by this situation?
I like to imagine Barry in a peaceful place somewhere… I hope he is not worrying about my petty little life, but I’d love to see him again someday when I have passed on from this world. I was raised in a harsh, unaccepting religious home, so I don’t have a lot of religious feelings, but I believe in right and wrong, good and bad, and I know Barry was a good man.

10. If this horrible thing should happen again, what would you tell the families of the victims to do first?
I don’t know… it’s hard to even think about. The only thing a family can do is grieve and suffer at first, so I would hope they would let their loved ones be there for them.

11. Do you think Barry’s murderers were gay themselves or maybe jealous of the life Barry was leading?
I sometimes notice, in my life, other gay and bi men can be jealous towards you and outright mean, if you seem comfortable with you sexuality. I think they feel threatened by the openness. Barry’s killers definitely had some mental issues, some of which seemed to be intertwined with their sexuality. But Glover, the man who actually hit Barry with the baseball bat, has asserted strongly that he is heterosexual. Fisher, the “mastermind,” has not spoken out about his sexuality, but he had a history of dating women.

12. Do you regret anything in your life?
Sometimes I regret too many things, and then I think of all the great people who have said the best way to be is “No Regrets!” But I am a worrier, a nurturer, and sort of a “Mom” kind of person. I wish I had been nicer to my brother and sister growing up. I wish I had started transitioning earlier in life. I wish I could have been there for Barry when he needed me most. I think for me it is natural to have some regrets. I try not to let them get me down. The important thing is that I learn from them and try to do better next time.

13. Did you have a direct role in the creation of the film?
I consulted directly with the writer, producers, director and actors. I was on the set, right outside the frame, on many of the shots. When you see the shots of just the crowd cheering, it was actually me on stage dancing to make them cheer. Then it switched back to shots of Lee Pace as me. I was right there and I feel very lucky to have been such a close part of things.

14. What did wear to the premier?
I wore a long black dress I made myself. It was simple and respectful, but still flattering to my figure. I wanted to look nice for Barry.

15. Did you go to the premier at Sundance?
I went to every premiere of the film, and most every showing everywhere it played, so that I could talk to the audiences afterward.

16. Did you ever consider playing yourself in the movie? Was that ever an option from the producers?
I am an actress and look forward to roles coming up in a few different projects. But this film was too personal, and I would have felt sick playing opposite someone playing Barry… pretending like he was still alive. It would have driven me crazy.

17. Any plans on becoming a cartoonist? What was so “killing” about those Church sermons?
I have always drawn cartoons for fun, but they are too weird and obscure for the general public so far, ha ha. And what was so “killing” about church? Oh goodness, where to begin… being in a fundamentalist Christian cult in the South for my first 18 years was pure, unadulterated Hell. No bones about it. 

19. How has the whole incident impacted your life? Do people come up to you on the street or at your performances and say things?
Barry’s murder has profoundly changed me. His love has given me the confidence to become who I am today. But the violence has left me a lot more cautious with people and life in general. Sometimes now I just want to be alone. It’s hard to have faith in humanity and the government. But I shake off these negative moods when they come and keep fighting the good fight. People do approach me in different circumstances. Before I quit performing at the club, occasionally someone would come up to tip me and shout over the music, “ARE YOU THE ONE WHOSE BOYFRIEND WAS KILLED?” It would just blow me away that people would say something like that, much less while I was performing. But the good things people have said far outweigh the bad. 

20. Your site says you served in the Navy, what was that like? How did it impact your sexuality? Do you go to reunions or keep in touch with old buddies?
For me, the military was the only way I could escape from a suffocatingly religious family life in Nashville, TN. It seems an odd choice to people now, but at the time it was a life raft out of an impossible situation. I worked hard and did my best, earning top evaluations and the respect of my coworkers. I was excited to be chosen as an elite combat medic to serve with the Marines, and glad to help out in Al-Jubail, Saudi Arabia during the 1st Gulf war. I never felt any of the guilt that some military people are burdened with, because my job was to heal and offer comfort. Overall my experience was exciting, educational and liberating. It is a sad contrast to Barry's experience.

21. How has the creation of www.Calpernia.com changed your life?
Calpernia.com has given me a way to communicate with people and share my life. I can show trans women that “it can be done,” and show non-trans people that we are just normal women who want to be happy, albeit facing some huge challenges.

22. Tell me about your role with your production company, Deep Stealth productions (www.deepstealth.com). What’s next for your company?
My business partner, Andrea James, and I started Deep Stealth Productions in Chicago. “Deep stealth” is a slang term used in our community to describe those of us who live without question or suspicion in their chosen gender. In many societies and subcultures, the decision to live deep stealth is a matter of survival. Living deep stealth often means leaving everything behind and starting over. Is the world ready to accept those of us who could live deep stealth but have chosen to be out and proud? We hope our efforts to entertain and educate will show that the time has arrived. Many in our community have quietly made amazing contributions, and we feel it’s time to bring our capabilities into the spotlight. Since few others are taking up the cause, we decided we’d do it ourselves.

Deep Stealth Productions is committed to creating innovative entertainment and instructional media, inspired by and benefiting the transgender community. By providing the best original content possible, we intend to contribute positive examples against the tide of negative imagery and sentiment that keeps transgender people from having a voice in the world today. Our first projects were instructional DVDs teaching trans women how to speak in a natural female voice, and skincare and makeup. We felt like a number one priority was making available to those who wanted them the tools necessary to integrate into society, get a job and find housing. From there we published my own memoirs, Mark 947, a recent perspectives piece in the Advocate and several interviews and media events. My collaboration with Showtime on the movie "Soldier's Girl" has been a significant milestone in my own life and, in prensenting a sensitive and realistic portrayal of a transgender woman's life and love to an audience of millions, has hopefully made some large steps towards Deep Stealth's stated goals.

Our next big project is a transgender production of "The Vagina Monologues." Deep Stealth has joined with noted artist and activist Eve Ensler for a special benefit performance slated for February 2004 in Hollywood. Eve plans to write a new monologue for the transgender-themed production, to feature Calpernia Addams and other women in our community, in what will surely be a landmark event for transgender contribution to the awareness of women's issues. At present we are working on raising funds and securing the details of performers, entertainment and attendees.

24. Why do you think America has trouble with gender issues? Is the gay community always accepting or do you ever get discrimination from them?
People get upset when the categories they’ve gotten comfortable with are shown to be illusion. Male and Female are convenient ways to generally divide the population, but there are tons of people who just don’t fit exactly into this binary. Men and women feel threatened when they are attracted to someone and then become unsure about that person’s gender. They worry what it means about themselves. Some people in the gay & lesbian community find “visibly gender variant” people a political liability as well. If you can look at someone and tell that there is “something unusual going on,” like in the case of wild drag personalities or super butch lesbians or anyone else who is visibly gender variant, they worry that it will focus the wrong kind of attention on their issues. I think ultimately we’re all going to have to realize that we’re in this together, gay, lesbian, bi and trans. Marriage rights for, say, two flaming sissy boys are going to help the closeted junior business execs who want to get married just as much, so we should all work together.

25. What question has the media never asked that you always wanted them to?
The dream question no media person ever asked me during the worst times was this, “Why are we all such idiots? Why can’t we just refer to you as a woman, rather than using insulting terms and being insensitive?” And I would have answered them by saying, “Well, I guess you’re just all a pack of idiots!” Ha ha. Present company excluded, of course!”

Thanks Calpernia for taking the time to chat with us. You show your stars and stripes in so many ways and give us all something to think about concerning women in transition (transgender individuals). You’re more than an American Girl, but rather an American original. Best wishes for you in the future and please drop by and visit us again. We are honored to have you interview with us and you are a true icon.